The following post concerns the death of my husband Sandy. It was posted on December 10th but I removed it shortly thereafter. I have decided to re-post it since it is too important to leave out of the personal information about me.

Sandy died from cancer on December 22, 2007. He was 58 years old. We had been married for 17 years. He was my best friend and the love of my life.

Here is the post from December 10th:

Thank you to all my concerned clients. Your compassionate and kind words about my husband’s dying are much appreciated. It has been very difficult indeed at this time of year especially. I hesitated in even posting this here except that it does concern healing spells and healing energy and that is very much a part of my being a witch. I am not one to complain about the natural course of things.

I have conducted a number of rituals and prayers for my husband. I do not see a miracle happening. I am not adding any negativity to it but just being as realistic as possible. It is important too for him to connect with his spiritual center right now. I do not know what it is like for him to go through this. Fortunately he seems rather calm and at peace. But then he is that kind of person at his core. When we discussed it I said, “I don’t know what we are going to do.” He said, “Well, I am going to die and then you’ll be pretty sad. For that I am very sorry.” No one knows him the way I do and no one knows that he is that kind of man. I wish others had seen this side of him but I am eternally grateful that I got to share in the best of his humanity and love.

This happened so suddenly. From his feeling unwell to being hospitalized it has only been two weeks. In some ways I always knew that he would leave me before his time. He is nearly 20 years older than me so it was destined to be the case, just not so soon. He is too young. I am too young.

Wiccans and indeed many pagans believe in The Summerland, which is a kind of Heaven/Karmic Weigh Station where you go after you die. In the Pure Land school of Buddhism there is a similar location in the Astral called The Pure Land of Bliss. This is not Nirvana, since Nirvana is a state of being that exists outside of the cyclical existence of Samsara (the cycle of death and rebirth on Earth) but it is a deeply held belief that like The Summerland this “heaven” is there for those who believe it exists and they can go there and learn and reconnect with their higher mind and work out karma toward eventual Enlightenment.

So this is where we are right now. A different path than I thought we would ever be on at this stage in our lives. Sadly this is a path that he must walk alone. I will give him the best directions I can though.